A Little Old School for LinkedIn Users

When I graduated business school and entered the workforce for the first time I was fortunate to have chosen an opportunity that got me the coaching and mentorship every young professional needs. My boss, mentor and today friend, Dan, taught me a lot of things, from effective business writing to how to order in a  French restaurant to his incredible thought process. But the number one lesson he drilled into me echoed what my father always taught us growing up: your credibility is everything.

I was reminded of this lesson yesterday when the most bizarre LinkedIn experience happened. I got an invitation to connect to a person I did not recognize. The invitation simply claimed that we were ex-colleagues and requested we connect. Now LinkedIn is a wonderful tool in my opinion. I don't use Facebook, MySpace or any other social media. I recently got on Twitter in order to follow specific people I value, not to link to friends or even tweet myself. But LinkedIn has been an excellent business tool that I use on a daily basis for a variety things. As much as I use the tool I was surprised to see that I couldn't reject the invitation anymore, but rather there is an option to reply without accepting the invitation from this person, lets call her "Ginni". 

I love to network and am always open to connecting to new people, even if I don't know them. But I was worried that perhaps I had 'forgotten' Ginni from my past so I clicked on her profile to have a look. I reviewed her profile and didn't recognize her picture, her profile or the places she has worked (most of which was non-profit or academia). So I sent a short note stating:

Ginni, I don't believe I know you.

Ginni responded promptly stating:

I am interested in connecting with other financial and business management types, as colleagues in business. If you would rather not, that is OK with me, no we do not know each other. The internet makes this world small, and we as human family. I am taking advantage of that opportunity to expand my network.

Okay, reasonable request but then why claim we are colleagues?? I checked her profile again to see what "financial and business management" experience I had missed the first time I reviewed her profile. No mention of any business experience at all, in fact her profession is "Arts and Crafts Professional" and her industry is "Health, Wellness and Fitness". There is no mention of financial services or any other business experience. I had made up my mind that I was not going to connect with Ginni because of the inconsistency in her profile and notes, but decided to send a courteous response suggesting a best practice tip from LinkedIn - introduce yourself properly next time. I also wanted to understand why she wants to connect with me. My note said:

Ok thanks. A word of advice - if you don't know someone you should let them know why you are trying to connect. It's a much more positive approach when you don't know them. Please let me know why you want to connect with me specifically? Thanks.

Here is what Ginni wrote back 2 minutes later:

Your words of advice are well made, and noted. Though I have many years of banking, am a CEO, CFO and company President, serve on many boards of Directors in my capacity as a community volunteer, and am also a fiduciary, I don't think you and I are well suited to be "linkedin". I am very sorry to have bothered you. Please forgive my intrusion!

Ginni

"Dream Your Own Life or Someone Else Will Dream It For You"

"If you're hit by a truck, see your Doctor. If you want to know why trucks keep hitting you, see your Shaman"

I love human nature because it is so unpredictable yet predictable at the same time. I'm thankful I have had years of experience studying, dealing and interacting with so many kinds of people from all over the world. There are so many ways to react to a note like this, and my initial thought was to just ignore it and leave it at that. But then the words of my old mentor and my father came rushing back into my mind: your credibility is everything. And I thought you know what, I'm going to share that message in a careful manner with my new LinkedIn friend Ginni and blog about it. 

Credibility is something you don't hear about that often anymore. Its not a surprise given how our leaders, politicians and media personalities change positions on everything to suit their purposes. Do as I say not as I do is sadly a very real thing today. Add the lack of accountability we have in our society today and you would think the concept of credibility doesn't matter anymore. After all, the same people who regulated us into the economic mess we are in are supposed to be regulating us out of it. Makes no sense.

But I refuse to believe that. In my world credibility is still everything. I understand the need to change position sometimes because other factors in the environment change. But the world evolves around people. Every business in the world is a people business. Every cause we believe in is about people. And a person without credibility is not worth it to me. Harsh, I know. Yet this belief has served me well. When I think about the experiences I have been fortunate to have, the successes I have been involved with, and the challenges I have overcome, they are all thanks to the quality people that have been involved with me. Your credibility matters people. 

And while our society continues to change thanks to technology like LinkedIn, Facebook and the Internet in general, I believe the old school principles of credibility, honesty and accountability are more important than ever. We are living in a much more transparent society with more information about each of us available at the tip of our finger tips. Privacy is becoming harder to protect. Because of this transparency you can't afford to say one thing and do another. Worse yet, you can't claim to be one thing when you are not. And this brings me back to Ginni. Here is the response I sent her:

Ginni, 

I think you misunderstood my note, I meant no offense. I don't know you and was trying to be courteous by reaching out - your invitation said we were colleagues. Now you claim to be a CEO, CFO, President and Board member, but your profile does not indicate this. That means one of two things - either your profile is not up to date or you are not being truthful.

Good luck with your connections, I agree we are not suited to be 'linkedin'.

Ginni is full of hot air. Thats obvious, but one thing I hate more than people being untruthful is people who take me for a fool. I got this from my mother. She is the sweetest lady I know but if you take her for a fool then God help you. I don't care about Ginni and her confused messages, but I wasn't going to fail to get my point across. Interestingly I got this note back from Ginni:

I am sorry if I misunderstood your communication to me. I did not take offense, but was a bit put-off by the tone, which is likely a very common occurrence with the brevity of much electronic communication.

I was also taught to respond to communications, I respectfully wish that this is received in the manner it was intended.

Best of luck, and all joys and satisfactions to you.

Yours,

Ginni

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it"

Whatever. My tone has nothing to do with your dishonest approach. No credibility. Thats a shame.